


Episode: Ducknapped

by ShiTiger



Series: Vampire Kisses [2]
Category: Count Duckula
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, First Time, M/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:26:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27903679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiTiger/pseuds/ShiTiger
Summary: Duckula and the servants have a laugh over the ransom note, then go about their day.  That evening, Goosewing falls through the roof at just the right moment.
Relationships: Count Duckula/Dr. Von Goosewing
Series: Vampire Kisses [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2015200
Comments: 5
Kudos: 9





	Episode: Ducknapped

**Author's Note:**

> (Note: I’m using Duckula’s hair from the Danger Mouse 2015 reboot. Black and spiked, with purple highlights. Without all the gel, I imagine it falls around his shoulders)

Duckula combed his hair in front of the vanity mirror, grumbling under his breath about “the absolute nerve of some people. I can’t believe they sent us a ransom note without even ducknapping me first. They’d better not try anything tonight, or I’ll have Nanny throw them out. Fifty-thousand Transylvania drachmas, indeed. I’m worth far more than that.” 

The count got to his feet, running his hands down his frilly purple nightgown. The outline of the gown accentuated his invisible curves in the mirror’s reflection. “Thanks, great-great-great grandpa. I definitely prefer this to my old nightrobe.” Duckula sashayed across the room, and climbed under the covers. “Well, time for some shut eye. Nanny! Aren’t you going to tuck me in, and read me a bedtime story?”

“Coming, Duckie-boo!”

Duckula pulled his teddy bear close, and snuggled down. Despite the ransom note, it had been a rather uneventful day.

* * *

Duckula blinked his bleary eyes open, glancing around his bedchambers. “W-What was that strange noise?” he yawned, sliding out of bed. A moment later, the ceiling caved in, sending a prone body crashing down onto his crimson bedsheets. 

“Hey! You can’t just…” The count froze as he caught sight of a familiar yellow shirt and plaid jacket. “Goosewing? What in the world are you doing here?” Duckula leaned over the other man, poking him in the stomach. He didn’t budge. 

“Are you alright?” The count dusted off the bed, and crawled on top of the covers to assess the damage. “Well, you look okay. At least there’s no blood.” A light snore caught his attention, and he let out a chuckle. “This is not how I imagined getting you into bed with me, but I’ll take what I can get,” Duckula sighed, adjusting a pillow behind the sleeping hunter’s head. Laying down, he rested his own head on the goose’s chest, and snuggled close. As an afterthought, he tangled their fingers together, before allowing his eyes to drift closed. 

* * *

_(Note: Cuthbert was the blond, and Denzel was the brunette)_

The gentlemen in blue suits snuck into the castle, avoiding the giant housekeeper and the scary butler. 

“Keep the noise down, Cuthbert, old chap.”

“Quite right, Denzel.” 

The pair crept up the staircase, hoping they were going in the right direction. Rather embarrassing having sent a ransom note BEFORE kidnapping the hostage. Not that they had ever seen him before, but he WAS a count, so he was bound to be loaded. 

They peeked into one of the rooms, their eyes landing on a king-sized bed with crimson sheets. A man lay on to top of the covers. “There he is, old chap. He… Oh dear, he has a lady with him,” Denzel whispered to his friend. 

“She’s rather pretty, isn’t she?” Cuthbert exclaimed, taking a few steps closer for a better look. Lucky goose. The petite woman was dressed in a frilly purple gown, and was snuggling up to her man as if she couldn’t bear to be away from him. 

“She is,” Denzel agreed, quite taken with her emerald green feathers, and the purple highlights in her ebony hair. “But it isn’t polite to stare, Cuthbert. And we couldn’t possibly kidnap Count Duckula while he’s sleeping with his…” 

“You think she’s his wife?” 

“Perhaps. Or a girlfriend,” 

“Maybe she’s a prostitute!” 

“Cuthbert, hush! That is no way to speak about a lady.” 

“Sorry,” his heavyset companion said, ducking his head in embarrassment. 

“Better. Come on then, we’ll leave the count-napping for another day,” Denzel insisted, casting a final glance at the lovely lady on the bed. “Lucky chap.”

* * *

“Oh, mein head. What is to be happening to me?” Goosewing groaned. His entire body felt like it was weighed down by some invisible force. That was when he caught sight of the hole in the ceiling above him. The moonlight shone through it, flickering over something purple at the edge of his vision. Turning his head, he realized that someone was laying partially on top of him - and that someone was dressed in a pretty, purple nightgown. 

“Egads! Are you quite alright, my dear…” The hunter sat up quickly, taking the woman firmly by the shoulders to check on her condition. Confused ebony eyes blinked back at him as she… HE awoke. 

“You finally woke up. Sorry, I guess I fell asleep on you,” Duckula yawned. His purple highlighted hair fell in waves around his shoulders, giving him a softer than normal appearance. 

“Duckula? What am I doing in your bed? You are barely dressed!” Goosewing declared, pulling back to shield his eyes. 

“Oh, come now, Goosewing - We’re both adults. Although, to be honest, you’re the first person I’ve had in my bed.” In his shyness, the count began to draw little circles on the bedcovers, glancing up at the hunter through heavily-lidded eyes. 

“You’re a vampire, and I’m a vampire hunter. It would be highly inappropriate,” Goosewing stated, peeking through his fingers at the lovely young man. “Besides, you might be tricking me in hopes of biting my neck.” 

Duckula grinned, showing no sign of deadly fangs. “Oh, I can think of many other places I’d like to nibble than your neck. What if I promised not to try to suck your blood tonight?” Not that he would anyway, but Goosewing just refused to believe him. 

“Uh… well…” Goosewing’s hands fell into his lap, his gaze darting back and forth between the count and the bedsheets. It wasn’t fair for a vampire to be so pretty.

Duckula wiggled his shoulders, drawing the other man’s attention to the lacy straps that were slipping down his arms from the movement. “Do you like my nightgown, Otto?” the young man asked, his voice deepening on the hunter’s first name. “I’d let you nibble on my neck, and do other things.” He batted his eyelashes flirtatiously. “We could pretend, just for tonight, that we aren’t a vampire and vampire hunter.” 

“I… well… If you promise not to be biting me,” Goosewing blushed, rubbing his neck awkwardly. 

Duckula surged onto his knees, bouncing on the bed in delight. “I promise - I promise. I keep telling you I’m a vegetarian… Never mind, it doesn’t matter now. So, um… I’ve never actually done this before, but I’ve read a LOT of romance novels.” He placed his hands on his knees. “What do you want to do first?” 

It was Duckula’s first time… Duckula’s first… Otto von Goosewing traced his gaze over the young man’s eager expression, and down his curved body. “I, er… haven’t done this very often, myself. Too busy hunting vampires…” 

Duckula crept forward, maneuvering himself until he was seated between the other man’s legs. “We can go slow, then. But you’re a little overdressed, Otto.” 

“Yes, yes, I think I am,” the hunter squeaked, as delicate green fingers helped him out of his jacket, tossing it haphazardly off the bed. The count gazed down at him intently as he began to unbutton his vest. And then those swift hands moved to his belt buckle. 

“Oh!” 

“You’re bigger than I thought you’d be,” Duckula purred, even as he began to stroke the erect flesh peeking out over the other man’s underwear. With a wink, he dipped his head down, and took the hunter’s manhood into his mouth. 

“Ah, ah!” Goosewing groaned, his hands clutching the bedsheets to avoid grasping the duck’s head. The count chuckled in response, sending a vibration up the hunter’s spine. 

“Duck, Duck!” 

“Mmm?” The count paused, his mouth still full as he waited for the other man to speak. 

“I… should probably be taking off mein clothes properly, first,” the hunter commented. 

The vampire raised a brow, but pulled back, giving the goose’s manhood one last lick that made him gasp aloud. He sat back on his knees, watching as the hunter struggled out of his clothing, tossing it to the floor next to the bed. 

“There, that is bet-ter…” Goosewing gulped, realizing that he was completely unclothed, while his soon-to-be lover was still clad in his frilly nightgown. 

“Are you going to help me out of this, Otto… or do you want me to wear it while we’re together?” Duckula asked, batting his eyelashes. 

“O-oh g-goodness,” the goose stuttered, his mind suddenly filled with both possibilities. A deliciously green-feathered body lay on display before him, waiting for him to make his move. The image disappeared, replaced by a nightgown-wearing count straddling him. “Why… Why don’t you lie down on the bed,” Goosewing suggested, his cheeks flushing red. 

“Of course,” Duckula purred pleasantly, making himself at home against the pillows. Green hands traced down his nightgown as he blew the hunter a kiss. “Like what you see, Otto?” 

“Ja! I am liking it too much. It is unfair that you are being so beautiful,” the vampire hunter sighed, leaning over his lover. 

Duckula’s eyes softened. “Awww, that’s so sweet of you to say.” 

“Not as sweet as you, mein dear,” Goosewing said, taking the opportunity to press their mouths together. As their tongues swirled, his fingers traced up the count’s downy legs, slipping under the hem of the nightgown. “So very, very sweet…” 

“Otto!” the count gasped, arching back against the pillows. 

“Oh, you are wearing nothing under here, are you, mein Duck?” Goosewing chuckled, stroking between his lover’s legs. 

“Otto, please,” Duckula whispered, clutching the pillow behind his head with both hands. 

“Anything you want, mein Duck. Tonight is for you,” the hunter insisted.

“I want you… just you, Otto,” the young man admitted, smiling shyly up at his lover. 

Goosewing glanced at the nightstand next to the bed. “Do you have any… er, lube - my dear?” 

Duckula’s eyes widened in confusion. “What is lube? I can get Nanny to bring us some. Nann…!” The goose’s hand was suddenly clamping his bill shut. 

“Nein!” 

The count raised a brow, even as his bill was released. “Igor, then?” 

“That would be worse,” Goosewing groaned pitifully. _Maybe this is a bad idea. What am I thinking? Just because Count Duckula is lovely, doesn’t mean…_ Green arms wrapped around his neck, stealing his doubts away. 

“Can we do this without lube?” the vampire asked, his fingers beginning to stroke the hunter’s neck feathers. 

“Ja,” Goosewing sighed dreamily. “We will just have to do this a different way.” He slipped between the smaller avian’s thighs, shifting his hips to let their erections rub together. 

“Otto - more!” 

* * *

“That was even better than I thought it would be,” Duckula sighed, pulling the covers up to his chin as he rested against Goosewing’s chest. 

“Ja?” Goosewing took advantage of the quiet opportunity to stroke his hand up and down his undead lover’s back. 

“I never thought we’d actually be together like this,” said the vampire, snuggling close. “You know, you can use the front door, next time.” 

Goosewing chuckled awkwardly. “Yes… I suppose I can.” 

“Goosewing, will you…” Duckula glanced up at his lover shyly. “Will you stay the night?” 

“Er, yes. I would be most delighted to,” the hunter agreed. 

* * *

(The following day)

“See you tonight,” Duckula said, giving his lover one last kiss on the cheek. 

“Yes, I am to be looking forward to it,” Goosewing agreed.

The vampire nodded, turning his attention to the castle that could be seen below the airship. Concentrating, he felt the cloud engulf his body, teleporting him back to the roof of the castle. Looking up, he waved at the hunter, who returned the wave cheerfully. 

As the little airship sailed off into the distance, Duckula was interrupted from his musings by the familiar tromping footsteps of his butler. 

“Was that Goosewing? Did he try to sneak into the castle again?” Igor asked curiously.

“He did,” said the count. “Well, he actually crashed through my ceiling last night. We’ll have to get someone to fix the hole.” 

The butler did a double-take at his words. “He crashed through your ceiling last night? Are you quite alright, m’lord?” 

“Yeah,” Duckula sighed dreamily. “Oh, Igor - do we have any lube?” 

The butler’s jaw dropped. “How do you know about that, m’lord?” 

“Otto told me,” Duckula answered honestly. 

“Von Goosewing,” Igor hissed, his eyes narrowing at the airship nearly out of sight on the horizon. 

“He’s coming over tonight for dinner. I want you and Nanny on your best behaviour,” the count ordered. 

“Of course, m’lord,” Igor grumbled sullenly. 

* * *

“Isn’t it grand, Mr. Igor? Our little Duckie-boo is going on his first date!” Nanny exclaimed cheerfully, as she dusted the mantle. 

“Unfortunately,” the butler replied. 

* * *

Goosewing steadied himself as he knocked on the castle door. “I do hope Duckula likes the flowers I am bringing to him. Pink roses are much nicer than the red ones.” The door swung open with a loud creak, revealing a frowning buzzard in a suit. 

“Ah, Igor,” Goosewing gulped. The butler’s scowl deepened, as if he was attempting to murder the hunter with his eyes. 

“Is… Is Duckula in?” 

“Is that Otto?” a voice shouted from upstairs. 

Igor grit his teeth, stepping aside to allow the hunter into the castle. “Yes, m’lord.” 

“Be right down!” Duckula shouted back. 

Goosewing was sure there was a silly smile on his beak, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. The sound of the other avian’s voice was making his heart skip a beat. 

“For you, von Goosewing,” Igor interrupted, handing the hunter a paper grocery bag. 

“Ah, thank you. What is..?” Goosewing’s cheeks burst into flames when he caught sight of the contents. 

“M’lord asked for the items this morning - after you left.” The butler leaned closer, fixing the hunter with an intense stare. “If you harm the young master, your end will be most unpleasant.” 

Goosewing gulped loudly. “I have no intention to harm mein Duck. He is very sweet - for a vampire.” 

Igor rolled his eyes. “Don’t remind me. He refuses to live up to the great Duckula name. He could be a vicious, blood-thirsty vampire, but he insists on eating - _vegetables_.” The butler spat out the last word as if it was something truly disgusting. 

A movement at the top of the stairs caught their attention. Duckula, dressed in a fancy purple tux, stood at the top of the stairs. Nanny stood behind him, waving cheerfully at them. 

“Otto, you’re here!” Duckula seemed to abandon all decorum as he raced down the stairs, stopping inches away from them. 

“For you, mein Duck,” Goosewing insisted, holding out the bouquet of pink roses. 

“Otto, they’re lovely,” sighed the young count, gathering the flowers into his arms. 

“So this is the handsome man who stole my duckie-boo’s heart,” announced Nanny, ambling down the stairs. 

“Er, yes. I suppose we haven’t officially met,” Goosewing said, sticking out his hand for a handshake. 

“Oh, none of that now. You’ll be family, soon enough,” said the massive woman, sweeping the hunter into her arms for a nearly backbreaking hug. 

“Nanny, no! Put Goosewing down!” 

Goosewing caught sight of the evil grin spreading across Igor’s face. The other man was clearly enjoying his agony. There was a brief feeling of weightlessness as the woman dropped him back down onto the ground, brushing him off. He stumbled to regain his footing, and Duckula quickly grabbed his arm. 

“Are you okay, Otto?” 

“Better, now that I am with you,” the hunter admitted. He took the duck’s hand, and pressed a gentlemanly kiss to it. “Now, shall we have dinner?” 

* * *

“What do you think?” Duckula asked, eagerly taking a bite of his own food. 

“Er, yes…” Goosewing gazed down at the sandwich in front of him. Goodness knows, the count had mentioned broccoli sandwiches before, but he’d never thought the man was serious. “You have a very - unique - style.” 

“You don’t like broccoli sandwiches?” Duckula asked, his shoulders drooping. 

“I didn’t say that. I’ve just never had one before. I’m sure it tastes wonderful, mein dear,” Goosewing lied, taking a bite of the sandwich. It was rather - crunchy. Definitely an acquired taste. “Perhaps tomorrow, I can take you to the new restaurant in town. It has some delicious vegetarian dishes.” 

Duckula perked up. “It does? That sounds great!” 

_Narrator: And so, dear listener, our story ends with a scream of terror… Oh, who am I kidding? Duckula and Goosewing live happily ever after. The end. I wonder if the new Danger Mouse series is looking for a spooky narrator?_


End file.
